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GANDHI Mahatma Gandhi always walked barefoot and ultimately the soles of his feet became thick and very hard. He also was, of course, known to be a man of deep spiritual conviction. He undertook hunger strikes as a political protest and at times was both thin and frail. Furthermore, due to his weird diet, he suffered from bad breath. VERY bad breath. In fact, in time he came to be known as "a super-callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis." MOATSART A musician lived in a house virtually surrounded by a small lake. One day, after hearing a particularly beautiful piece of music, he bought several cans of spray pain and proceeded to weave intricate, but colorful patterns of paint on the surface of the water. When asked why, he replied that he was especially fond of moats art. BEETHOVEN While walking through a cemetery in Vienna a tourist heard music coming from a gravesite. The headstone read, "Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770?1827." The man listened for a few moments before recognizing the music as the Ninth Symphony, being played backwards. Puzzled, the man left the graveyard and persuaded a friend to return with him. By the time they arrived at the grave the music had changed. This time it was the Seventh Symphony but, like the previous piece, it was being played backwards. Curious, the men agreed to consult a music scholar. When the two men returned to the grave with the expert, the Fifth Symphony was playing. Again, it was backwards. Naturally, word got around about the strange happenings at Beethoven's grave and the next day a large crowd had gathered and was listening to the Second Symphony, being played backwards. Just then the graveyard's caretaker ambled up to the grave. Someone in the crowd asked him if he had an explanation for the music. "Don't you get it," the caretaker asked incredulously, "he's decomposing."
VAN GOGH After much careful research it has been discovered that the artist Vincent Van Gogh had many relatives. Among them were: His obnoxious brother - Please Gogh The brother who ate prunes - Gotta Gogh The brother who worked at a convenience store - Stopn Gogh The grand father from Yugoslavia - U Gogh The brother who bleached his clothes white - Hue Gogh His dizzy aunt - Verti Gogh The cousin from Illinois - Chica Gogh His magician uncle - Wherediddy Gogh His Mexican cousin - Amee Gogh The Mexican cousin's American half brother - Grin Gogh The nephew who drove a stage coach - Wellsfar Gogh The constipated uncle - Cant Gogh The ballroom dancing aunt - Tan Gogh The dancer uncle - Flamin Gogh His nephew psychoanalyst - E Gogh The fruit loving cousin - Man Gogh An aunt who taught positive thinking - Wayto Gogh The little nephew - Poe Gogh A sister who loved disco - Go Gogh And his niece who travels the country in a van - Winniebay Gogh His French aunt with a chronic backache - Lumbe Gogh His Auto salesman cousin - Car Gogh His melancholy Hoosier cousin - Indy Gogh His nephew from a chain of islands near Little Rock - Arky Pella Gogh His cowboy ancestor - Duran Gogh His cowboy ancestor's great grandson's rock & roll group - Duran Duran Gogh His blistered young cousin by marriage - Empeti Gogh His lonely lovelorn sister Theycomeandthey Gogh His cousin, the French chef, Escar Gogh His favorite poet, the self centered, E. E. Gogh Favorite breakfast treat: an eggogh He preferred brushes that were ergogh-nomically correct Person he hired to do chores: a goghpher What happened when the above person stole his truck? they watched Vincent's van gogh pher down the road.
AND...
"I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh."
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